Pupu~ its been a while since we last wrote to you. you have been promoted to 'Gor Gor' now. The little puppy (Biru) is with us for about a month now. We always talked about the similarities between you and him...though not alot, but sometimes view from his back does look like you. Biru is a hyper-active one, how we would love to picture you and him together playing. And maybe you can even discipline him a little...

I still misses you..especially during sad and lost moments. I will look at the pictures of you in my phone and try to reminice the past. Yoou have always been very sensitive to jiejie (s) whenever one of us felt sad. Men's best friend indeed. We hope you are in a better place now..be it you can still remember us, or not. You always deserved the best.
Ah Hui Jie Jie love you...

 

its only been a few weeks since u left but how come it feels like months and years. i miss ur smiles, ur barks...ur pressence. nothing can describe the bond between us. you have been the most wonderful baby in our family. you brought us laughter and brighten our lives. we are very proud and grateful to have you.

 


 

love is still in the air... though you wont be galloping to us sending your love
with "i love u" tightly gripped in ur mouth this year...
the sweetness that you had showered us will last through our lifetime...
we love u too, baby...

memo...
our dear memory of polo, our baby...

lyrics translated from song My Memory

My Memory
At that moment I remembered it all
When I see those memories they seem so small..
You're far away in a place that I can't reach
I can't wait for these words of love to be said

I really was to blame
Will I ever get to meet you again?
I can't even imagine that
I still love you and now I'll confess that to you
I wanna love you forever
It's not too late
Be with me forever

For a long time you've been in my heart
Much time passes and still you're far away...

our little terminator... you always got it your way during this time of the year... ^^
this time of the year is never the same without you being around.
went to the pet farm today... which reminded us when our eyes met yours for the very 1st time...
oh ya, the pet seller commented you looked so nice... to us, u were 10 times more beautiful...

little 'elephany' moved us. though he is unlike you, he does remind us of that little polo,
as we still remembered, how you once bounced & toppled like nobody's business when we brought you home.
that was when we named you Polo, the mint sweet, which is white, round and rolls...

we are not trying to forget you baby... you are irreplaceable in our hearts.
we will be celebrating & continuing the love we all had for you, by extending it...
our family just gets bigger... 1st there was fitfit, and then you came into our lives...

dajie suggested the name for little 'elephany' to be one that signifies our heartfelt memories of you.
i'm still thinking... P.J? polo junior? memo? boogie (from your song)? let ah min chey chey think okay?

I was waken by the drums of lion dance today, turning my head around but you were not beside me. I remembered every year during this time, you will be surprised by the drums, unsure of what is going on downstairs...staring at me blankly and then continue to laze with me on the bed, back-against-back. This is the quietest Chinese New Year, without u around, everything is so dull and liveless. We didn't open up the packet of Bak Guah cos we know u are not here to share with us. Everywhere around the house, anything i do reminds me of u.

Now, i can only stare at the bed, imagine how u would choose a comfortable spot by squeezing between the pillows. Recalling the feeling how i used to hold u and scratch ur head and chin, massaging ur shoulders and tummy...imagining you were there wif me exploring the fridge and waiting for me to come out from the toilet...Please let me remember all these...time heals the pain...but time should not let these memories fade.

Its the eve of CNY, we have just finished our reunion dinner. Were u here with us? We've prepared for u a bowl of rice, chicken, pork, brocolli, fishball, carrots and bak choy, and of cos chrysanthemum tea. We miss you alot baby.

      
 

Sunday is baby's favourite day. The day where Ah Hui Jie Jie will bring u for a walk around the park and give u a bath. Sometimes we also tried to clean ur ears and cut ur nails but u rejected. Then we will laze on the bed and wrestle a little. U will smell so nice and look so fluffy, like a polar bear. In the later afternoon, u will get a bowl of ur veggies from Dajie...ur favourite munchies.

yea... true enough... baby is gone...
in a way we can never hold you again.
hear you...
feel your warmth...
smell you...

but... somehow it feels unreal... as everything about you is so vivid...

reality? which is which?
in the state of a mind? or in the state of our memory?

if memory relate with time... as one will say... time heals...
as time goes by, does the pain go away?
or is it such that, we will be too use to the pain so it does not hurt that much?

no one bugs me to rest early during late nights now.
only to realise that, the comfort you once shared with me
pulled me through days and months and years...
...of exhaustion, confusion and dejection..
replacing all with your affection & presence...

oh ya... was humming your song that night in my heart when doc said "sorry" to me...
trying my luck then, hoping you'll hear it anyhow...

you put your right hand in
you take your right hand out
you put your right hand in
and you shake it all about...

you do the boogie woogie
and turn yourself around... 

We helped u put on your favourite outfit to keep u warm and placed u in your resting ground. A great spot where you will always be with us. Papa cried...he didn't get to see u and hold u on that evening. But now, we are glad that u have returned home.

meal:
boiled shredded chix drums
shredded pork ribs
hei ji
fish
char siew

...with rice & carrots, brocolli


dessert:
walnut cake... butter cake... waffle... bread...

beverage:
chrysanthemum (not so sweet)

tidbits:
xiao bao (packet cookies)
uncooked pak choy
uncooked lettuce

to shred:
crumbled envelops
toilet-roll canister
self-discovered tissue packets
dajie's arts&craft pieces

Ball Ball   I Love U   Gou Gou   Diao Diao   Tong Tong   All the Balls

    Papa, Mama, Dajie, Ah Min, Ah Hui and Xiao Biru   

As i return from work today, walking the happiest path where Dajie used to carry you and wait for me when i knock off, i can still imagine the look on your face, the indian dance with your neck when you saw me...A major part of me died on the day you left, suddenly. My biggest worry finally came. Although i know i cannot keep you forever, but my life is so dependent on you...My heart really aches and i'm not even sure when will i be happy again.

You are everywhere in the house, in the toilet, under the Mi Ler For, stretching on the bed, peeing onto the sofa...Everytime i open the door, my heart sank because you were not there to greet me with a toy in your mouth and 'screaming' excitedly. I will always remember how u greeted me every morning when i'm preparing for work, no matter how sleepy you are, you will always make an effort to come looking for me and give me a morning stretch, waiting for me to say 'Good morning Ah Pu'.

I haven't cried today, maybe later. You were more than a dog, you are my family, my child, my little follower, my dear companion. I am really grateful to have you around for the past years and thank you for loving us.

It has been 33hours since you were gone...
way too long... to have been a dream...

it's okay... nothing changes still.
lights were off now, but i do still watch out for you when i step out of the room.
Mama said to keep the rooms' door closed still,
when we were just about leaving home to visit papa this afternoon.

we used to go to the loo together at this hour, remember?
chey chey will ask, "baby, want go zuzu bao zi?"
you sprung out of bed, running ahead, taking the lead...  ^^

and late supper treats... your favourite polar butter cake...
which i just had a slice, took a bite, and wanting to pinch the corners of it... 
but to realised, i had to finish that all by myself now...

mama, dajie, ah hui chey chey and me were watching the vid
which you catwalked around with your red boots.
how grateful we were, that you left us those moments... thank you, baby...

looking back the years, only to find out that...

baby ar...
you had been the softness that i could only hold on to, when life was hard...
the warmth that i could only gather, when life seemed cold...
you were here for me, for everyone of us...
and you are still right here, deeply in our hearts...

we love you, baby...

polo left today... keeping us wondering...
if he's alright to be by himself? if he's cold? if he's weeping just like we do?

holding on to his stiff limbs and body...
we no longer feel the warmth he used to share with us for the past 9 years.

questions unanswered... why god took him away.
we complained... not being able to look into his lively eyes for the last time...

polo.
baby.
pupu.
meimi.
anan.
ah pu.
xiao hu dei.

all names that we called for... ended with period. period. period.

the love, still lingering in the air...
the toys, still lying around...
the names, we still yelling out loud in our hearts...

polo... our baby... unlike others, whom saw colours ...